i love you

a poem

first, for my mother, then for everyone else i adore

i’ve never been good at showing affection;

a simple “i love you” makes me cringe.

and even when i love someone so deeply,

i find it difficult to let them know.



hugging isn’t something i’ve ever adored;

even the gentlest touch makes me flinch.

and even though i hate it, i can’t say i control it,

but nonetheless, i feel i am at fault.



i grew up in a quieter environment

emotionally, where feelings stayed within,

and expression wasn’t common, so maybe i’m not used to it,

but sometimes, i dearly wish i were.



there are some people i love more than anything;

it pains me that perhaps they may not know,

for love, to me, is something too embarrassing

to express freely… to feel deeply...



and oftentimes, i wish my life were different,

that, perhaps, things like hugging could be fine,

but sadly, i don’t think my mind can shift so easily,

and i believe it may take some time.



i’ve never been good at showing affection;

sometimes i wish it weren’t this way,

but rewiring tradition is no easy feat.

am i ready? could i try?



so to all those i know,

who i seldom bear to show

that i truly, deeply care for you,

i do.

---

---

i wrote this poem after many attempts to write a piece for my mother’s birthday. with ever lovey-dovey line i wrote, i just felt generic and… cringe, and that made me feel terrible. i do love my mom more than anything, so why was expressing my love for her so difficult?

so, feeling pathetic, i gave up and scribbled this thing instead. i can’t say i prefer it to a poem expressing my affection, but it’ll have to do.

happy birthday, mom. love you <3

if you resonated with this poem, i wish you lots of love and the bravery to train your brain into accepting affection, because affection is what makes life beautiful.

thank you for being here. i wish you a wonderful day and i’ll see you at some point next week in my next post. much love <3

---