53 Comments
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yehuda's avatar

I love this! great job!

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jaxyn's avatar

thanks!!

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Rea Wylie's avatar

*mind blown* love the story Jack!

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jaxyn's avatar

ty! :D

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Aurelie Kabore's avatar

Oh wow! Your first post I read, and I was carried away in the story. Stellar storytelling!

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jaxyn's avatar

thank you so much!

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Merissa Nicole's avatar

Bro. (Prepare for long comment).

So, first, your creative writing skills are amazing *gives applause*

Second, you totally just reactivate my plane fears because of how perfectly you depicted this XD I actually felt my heart stop beating there for a second, haha. The plane ride I had to London was so nerve racking because......it was literally the ocean. All of it (idk what else I was expecting?) So when I fell asleep on the plane and woke up to turbulence I literally (was very tired and delusional) that I thought I was falling into the ocean XD Anyway, the whole point of telling you this is you described the thoughts and emotions so accurately I would have believed it to be a true story Lol!! Bravo!!

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jaxyn's avatar

so glad you liked it!! i've actually only flown within the country, never over the ocean, so i had no idea what i was writing XD. i'm pretty sure my mc would've died jumping out of a plane but whatever. thank you so much for the feedback! :)

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Merissa Nicole's avatar

Hahaha, well you nailed it!! Hope you write up some more fiction!!

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jaxyn's avatar

will do! :D

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Abby A's avatar

Why did I think you were telling an personal story at first lol. But that was amazing, Jack. Very intriguing and slightly creepy at the same time!

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jaxyn's avatar

lol just ur average life post

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elissa's avatar

this is E P I C.

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jaxyn's avatar

*bows*

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Harshini's avatar

There are only a few stories that give me this bittersweet and calm vibe. This is one of them, a sign of great writing! Awesome story. I loved it! ✨

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jaxyn's avatar

:D so glad you enjoyed it!!

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Charlie Pinzer (he/him)'s avatar

Outstanding job! Very well-written.

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jaxyn's avatar

tysm!

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Emery Lincoln's avatar

Woahhhhhh..... Jack, that was incredible!!! I'm literally speechless right now XD. Very nicely done!

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jaxyn's avatar

thank you!! glad you liked it :D

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The Medic's avatar

At first I was totally confused, but I soon cought up. Good job! You're a really good writer. But, can I ask you a question?

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jaxyn's avatar

sure!

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The Medic's avatar

Are you Christian. I don't want to hurt your feelings if you aren't!

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jaxyn's avatar

i am! i write devotionals for my other blog @The YA Section and my most popular post on this blog is about my faith :)

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The Medic's avatar

Oh! Good! I was just confused because your characters mom took the Lord's name in vain.

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jaxyn's avatar

heh well not all my characters share my faith 😅

(also some exclamations seem fitting at certain moments)

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The Medic's avatar

Yes, that makes since! Thanks for clarefing! [I spelled that totally wrong!]

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Noah Ballard's avatar

Ocean blue...

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Michelle's avatar

Such a great story! 👏

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jaxyn's avatar

ty! 🫶

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Sarri's avatar

Wait WHAT! What did I miss omg?? This is an absolutely epic short story :DD and the writing style is super engaging, I was so invested.

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jaxyn's avatar

gah tysmmm <3

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tori bee's avatar

ohhhh my goshhh...

this is amazing. just amazing.

ive struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for some time now and tho its not nearly as bad as what this mc is going through, you managed to express the emotion perfectly!!!

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jaxyn's avatar

so glad you enjoyed the story!! and the dream this is based on was extremely anxiety-inducing 😬 but at least i woke up. wish we could do that during real panic attacks…

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tori bee's avatar

for real tho!!! 😅

and yeah i loved the writing style! i like writing short stories a lot too and the style you used here is probly my fav! <3

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jaxyn's avatar

aww thanks! if you ever start posting short stories i’d gladly read them :)

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tori bee's avatar

gosh thanks! i only have a substack account bcs i subscribed to hosanna nichols' blog (thoughts from a powder keg), but i do have a wordpress blog where i share about my writing and im considering posting one of my short stories on there soon! if you want to check it out, it's penfighter5.wordpress.com. 🙃

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jaxyn's avatar

ooh nice! i’ll check that out rn :). how long have you been blogging for??

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tori bee's avatar

cool, thx so much!! :D

um welp i started another wordpress blog im coauthoring with two friends in... july? i think? its a Christian living blog called gifts of grace. and then i decided i needed a personal blog where i could share about my writing... so i started penfighter! that was in september i think. tho time is going by so fast everything's blurring together 😅

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SomeoneJustWriting by Mindy V's avatar

Brilliant.

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Jemima's avatar

WOW WOW WOW. I’m blown away please 🙌🏾

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